Hello, I am Ms. Sore Loser.

INDIA. OMG. THERE goes India's hopes. Yuvi out.
Shucks. They really gave us so much hope when Jammy and Dada were batting like the absolute masters that they are. Now, we have Zaks, Munaf and RP left. It's a goner.

WHY must they play so badly! I mean honestly, Dinesh and Sachin were absolutely DISMAL. That's really all I can say. Dismal. Zaks just hit a 4. Go Zaks. Show people like Sachin how to save India's dignity.

Even if RP and Zaheer somehow manage not to get themselves out, we need 60+ runs from 30+ balls. It's just not possible. Now we just HAVE to win the next match. AND DRAVID, PLEASE BAT FIRST. I think your team has lost the ability to chase down totals. Don't depend on the batting line up. Depend on your bowlers instead. I know they can be disappointing at times (like today) but they are more likely to win you a match anyway.

The positives from today's match?
I saw Jammy bat so beautifully for the first time in YEARS. The boundaries were flowing from his bat and he looked at complete ease hitting them. There's only one way I can describe it, and that would be that he was creating poetry with his bat. It was that fluent, eloquent, natural. Two matches, two half-centuries. He looks to be in splendid form, and I hope he continues that form.

55 from 25 balls. It's gone. RP is managing to hang on though. YIKES. Only just though. He's playing risky. But I suppose they have nothing to lose (only the match, but they've already lost that anyway). Disappointing, disgraceful batting by top order batsmen like Sachin and Dinesh and even Dhoni. Hats off to Dravid, Ganguly and Yuvraj. They were the only ones who really did anything. Dravid captained pretty well, but RAWR we had a couple of decisions against us AND ZAHEER HITS A FOUR. WHOOOO. Ok sorry, I digress. And our bowlers (pace) were disappointing. RP was good towards the end. But that was not enough. He also gave away FIFTEEN runs in the last over.

ZAKS BOWLED. DEAD.

This is almost farcical. MUNAF AND RP. Why bother I ask. Just go home boys. Better you guys get rested and train tomorrow for the next match.
Ah they are so cute, they continue to bat. It's a bit of a laugh to watch RP lofting the ball.

OK BOWLED. There it goes. !#@O$STUPIDENGLAND@*(!^$)($IDIDNOTSAYANYTHING#^$%&*^#*
Ah well, it's not like I didn't see this humiliating defeat coming since the time Dravid got out. India needs miracles for the next match. Think about it, England won the first by 104 runs, India only won the 2nd by 9 runs and England's won this by 42 runs. Who's the dominant team? I don't think I need to give the answer. India SERIOUSLY needs miracles now. Blue whales, how deep in the hat are you hiding this time? How deep will India have to reach into the hat to pull you out this time? Or have we exhausted our supply of miraculous blue whales?
WHY am I asking all these metaphorical questions?

THURSDAY. Thursday. Sigh.

WARNING SORE LOSERNESS COMING UP:

Go away Collingwood. I know you won, I know you guys were good, FINE stop rubbing it in. I sincerely hope STUPID Anderson and Broad twist their ankles for the next game. GRRRRR. AND URGH MIKE ATHERTON THE @$*^!#$)!# he was asking questions that made it seem like India can't play cricket at all. Harsha Bhogle agrees! Yay.

OK I'm back to normal. I love England when they're not playing against India. BUT WHEN THEY START WINNING AGAINST OUR TEAM... *claws pop out and horns and pointy tail emerge*.

*deep breath*
I'm fine.
Gosh ok I'm NOT fine. Harsha Bhogle and co. just interviewed Jammy and he sounded THOROUGHLY PUT OUT. I've never heard him sound so upset. And he's blaming himself! For not going on to get a 100. I mean, sure, yes, he should have done that, but to say that you're taking the defeat hard on yourself? And he was going on about how he is very disappointed etc. Lighten up Jammy, all is not lost :(

TEAMINDIA PLEASE PLAY WELL AT LEAST FOR YOUR CAPTAIN IF NOT FOR ANYTHING/ANYONE ELSE.

Ok this is probably my most incoherently emotional entry here. I promise I will try to be a bit more sensible next time.